Login | Register | Subscribe to the GG RSS Feed

Flight Attendants I Adore

Or - Bite Me, I'm Yours

Flying is serious business. I spend more time undressing my way through security and customs than I do safely ensconced in my seat in the air. It can be stressful, but mostly it's just annoying.

Want to know what gets me through still smiling and ready to travel again? Simple. A sense of humor.

Scary Flight AttendantsScary Flight AttendantsOver the years I've met some flight attendants that would shame Attila the Hun. And I've met some who could give Jim Carey a run for his money. But I especially loved the one who, in an effort to get cell phones turned off, told passengers that they impressed her in the 90's - but not so much anymore.

Then there was a pilot who announced, "All Rise," when the flight door opened.

But the best flight attendant I've ever met was the Dolly Parton look-alike (with just as much plastic surgery) who flew me down to San Juan on my recent Princess Cruise. Her red lips and 4" hair-do made me wonder at the miracles of cosmetic science. But it was her attitude that kept me truly entertained.

After a 3-hour delay on the runway, the collective patience on the plane was fried. In preparation for departure, Dolly-Wanna-Be announced, "Buckle up and take your headphones out. If you don't, I'll call you out and embarrass you."

There was no mistaking the venom in her voice.

Then it was time for snacks. My partner and I hadn't packed food, thinking it was a quick flight and we'd enjoy a burger on a patio when we arrived in San Juan. After waiting 3 hours (and with another 4 ahead of us), we were starved.

a sense of HumorA Sense of HumorBy the time Dolly-Wanna-Be reached us, choice was limited. "You're all a bunch of Hannibal Lectors," she snarled as she drew near. "Go ahead and take a bite of me if it'll make you feel better."

I couldn't help but laugh at her, which egged her on as she progressed. I bit my lip, more than a little afraid that she was serious - and I didn't want to get called out and shamed.

As we filed off the plane, I longed to take her picture and share it with all of you. But like I said, she scared me. And I was starting a 2-week vacation with husband.....Best to leave Dolly-Wanna-Be to her next victims.

Ever met a flight attendant that scared / thrilled / annoyed the heck out of you? We'd love to hear your story. Feel free to use pseudonyms to protect the innocent (and guilty).

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter or drop us a line.

Related Stories

Rate This post

Post new comment

GoGirlfriend Recommendations

Travel Planning

Lonely Planet


Membership is free and with it you can set up a profile, vote on stories and post your opinions.

Already a member?

Not a member? Join!

Most Recent Comments

  • On 6 Tips to Survive (and Thrive) in Self-Isolation, admin said "Thanks Bat-El for the great tip. We've included your link in our Bonus Ideas from our Community section so others can enjoy. I really enjoyed the Stonehenge tour ... it's on my bucket list!"
  • On 6 Tips to Survive (and Thrive) in Self-Isolation, Bat-El Galor said "My name is Bat-El, and I'm working in collaboration with Travel Trend website. We've recently published a post -"Top 100 virtual tours around the world". After looking at these wonderful tips to survive in self-isolation; It occurred to me that our post could also contribute to your readers with further virtual tours resources. The post includes 100 links to virtual tours and unique experiences around the world. Feel free to check out the link and enjoy your travels ... https://www.trvltrend.com/technology/virtual-tours/ Cheers,"
  • On Cuba Travel ~ 10 Things You Need to Know Before You Go, admin said "Thanks Gordon for the update ... and given most routes to the resorts on the coast are an hour+ and it's Cuban warm, that money for a beverage is a great tip!"
  • On Cuba Travel ~ 10 Things You Need to Know Before You Go, Gordon Mitchell said "Over the last few years The $25 departure tax has been included in your airfare. Make sure you convert your cash at the airport so you can buy a cold beer on the bus on your way to the resort. They will take canadian money but not loonies and toonies. "
  • On Lesbian Adventure Travel, Debbie Clarke said "If you're considering New Zealand, then New Zealand Awaits is lesbian owned and operated (yes I'm the founder, owner, and guide). We run active and not so active tours for lesbians, as well as some LGBTQ mixed trips. We create itineraries for travellers wanting to self drive, and we have private guides. Come see us! "

Blogs We Love

beautiful Vancouver, British ColumbiaCheck out our GoGirlfriend Facebook page to follow us as we seek new adventures and create memories in our own part of the world.